I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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