At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
