It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
