so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
