The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
