dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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