How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
