I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
