ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
