Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
