Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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