that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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