i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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