Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
