It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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