I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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