I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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