So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
me + whiskey = a bad person
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
