she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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