he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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