Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
