its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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