Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize