After last night, I could never be a politician.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You pole danced in your parka.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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