u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
