I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
