I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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