I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
