WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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