the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
