Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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