Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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