I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
vagina is talking i cant
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
