I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
