Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
