my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
