how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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