This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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