man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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