Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How does one acquire holy water?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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