he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
