This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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