O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
