we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
