It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
