it hurts more in the daytime
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Are we still banned from the library?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
