this beer tastes like vomit already
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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