Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
