i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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