whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
