I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
