sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
