She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what day is it and did you see me today?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
