When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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