dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
