Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize