either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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