I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize