Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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