he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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