i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
