I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
