morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
