So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
