I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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