i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
